20140923

Standard Disclaimer

Whereas we cannot be held responsible for any accidents, incidents, loss of property or life or limb. Where as the reader of this notice understands that this information is confidential and may be legally privileged. It is intended solely for the designated recipient. Access to this material by anyone else is unauthorized. If you are not the intended recipient, (or responsible for its delivery), any disclosure, copying, distribution or any action taken or omitted to be taken in reliance on it, is prohibited and may be unlawful. In such case, you should destroy this media and notify us immediately.  All trademarks and registered trademarks are property of their respective owners. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Information from this service may be distributed or copied, subject only to any indicated normal copyright restrictions and normally accepted procedures for properly crediting sources.  [SEC 2] Redistribution in binary form must reproduce the this legal notice, this list of conditions and the following disclaimer in the documentation and/or other materials provided with the distribution. Accessing this information constitutes complete acceptance of agreement. The author of this work is not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Penalty for private use. The contents of this media, including all wording, graphics, images, and other material "Content" are provided for general informational purposes only. Use only as directed. The author does not warrant the completeness, timeliness or accuracy of any of the content. We may make changes to the content at any time in its sole discretion without notice. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Neither the name of this entity nor the names of contributors may be used to endorse or promote products derived from this service without specific prior written permission. [Sec 3] This service is provided "AS IS," without a warranty of any kind. All express or implied conditions, representations and warranties, including any implied warranty of merchantability, fitness or unfitness for a particular purpose or non-infringement, are hereby excluded except on one of the following dates (Feb 30, June 31, and November 31). This entity and its licensors shall not be liable for any damages suffered by licensee as a result of using, modifying or distributing this service or its derivatives. [Sec 4] In no event will this entity or it licensors by liable for any lost revenue, bad hair day, bad karma, lost of profit, data or for direct, indirect, special, consequential, incidental or punitive damages, however caused and regardless of the theory of liability, arising out of the use of or inability to use this service, even if we have been advised of the possibility of such damages. This Agreement does not grant you any rights. Persuant to all universal  regulations, past, present and future . We are not responsible for any misunderstanding on the function and purpose of the information herein which is in itself may be breach of an extrinsic contract which may or may not be restrained. You may not assign your rights under this Agreement to any third party  Decisions of the Committee are final. Reference herein to any specific commercial products, process, or service by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, does not necessarily constitute or imply its endorsement, recommendation, or favoring by the this Entity.  [Sec 4] With respect to documents available from this location, neither this Entity nor any of its employees, makes any warranty, express or implied, including the warranties of merchantability and fitness or unfitness for a particular purpose; nor assumes any legal liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or typographical errors, inaccuracies or omissions of any information, apparatus, product, or process disclosed; nor represents that its use would not infringe privately owned rights. The views and opinions of authors expressed herein do not necessarily state or reflect those of this Entity and its parent body, and shall not be used for advertising or product endorsement purposes. There shall be no discrimination, interference, restriction or coercion exercised or practiced regarding any term or condition  by reason of sex, age (except for where noted), race, creed, color, ancestry, national/planetary origin, place/planet of birth, political or religious affiliation or belief, clerical or lay status, membership (except for  non active members) sexual orientation, physical attributes, spousal status, family relationship, physical or mental ill-health, illness or disability, bad breath or body odor. [Sec 5] Batteries not included. Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants. Sanitized for your protection. This is not an offer to sell securities. Times approximate. All models over 18 years of age. For official use only. Opinions expressed are my own and not those of the Entity. Use like regular soap. Beware of dog. [Sec 6] By opening this package, you are agreeing to be bound by the terms of the agreement. Do not use in shower. In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly. Your canceled check is your receipt. Sign here without admitting guilt. First pull up, and then pull down. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Warning: May contain small parts. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. If condition persists, consult Yours truly, physician. Avoid contact with skin. At participating locations only. Do not put in mouth. Time is a precious thing; never waste it. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. One size fits most. Price does not include taxes Do Not Insert Curling Iron into Any Bodily Orifice. Not legal for trade. Warning: nicotine has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice. Simulated images. Contents may settle during shipment. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. Many suitcases look alike. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. This product not intended for use as a dental drill. As seen on TV. Subject to approval. Employees and their families are not eligible. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. [Sec 7] Not the Beatles. Check here if tax deductible. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. Caution: This is not a safety protective device.  Safe and effective when used as directed. Not all products are available at all times. Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand. Your mileage may vary No Canadian coins. Replace with same type. Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Not dishwasher safe.  May be too intense for some viewers. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Monitor sold separately. List was current at time of printing. Approved for veterans. Some assembly required. Use other side for additional listings. This statement has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration, or the AFT or the Stone Cutters . This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent and disease. Apply only to affected area. Beware!  Close cover before striking. Package sold by weight, not volume. To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. In order to get out of car, open door, get out, get keys, lock doors, and then close doors. Postage will be paid by the addressee. Add toner. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one-per-family please. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Driver does not carry cash. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Details inside. Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use. Place stamp here.  Post office will not deliver without postage. Restaurant package, not for resale. Product will be hot after heating. Does not use while operating motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Keep away from fire or flames. Edited for television. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery.  [Sec 8] No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No purchase necessary. Not sold in stores. No shirt, no shoes - no service. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Nothing contained anywhere herein is offered as or constitutes legal advice. Keep cool; process promptly. Do not disturb. This is only a test. Do not snuff or ingest wax. CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!  Slippery when wet. Do not drive cars in ocean. Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health. We have sent the forms, which seem to be appropriate for you.  Non-transferable.  [Sec 9] For serious injuries, seek medical attention. Do not iron clothes on body. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Must be 18 to receive this material. Disclaimer implies that author, owner. this entity, nor creator is not responsible for misuse, damage caused by accidents, lightning, froth and frippery of any sort, kind or condition, fire, frost, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, plagues, hurricanes and other Acts of God or Satan or natural, or unnatural disaster, neglect, damage from improper reading, understanding, usage of this material, or sheer stupidity of the user. Nor are we responsible for incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized access to this material, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, magic, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents due to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectiles (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, phasers, and other directed energy weapons, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, spears, stones, etc, attacks from vermicious knids, jabberwocks, schnozzwangers, whangdoodles, dragons, gnoolies or any creatures real or imaginary, or eating forbidden fruits, prunes, or Schnozzberries, or any other consumable, and anything you can think of they we did implicitly cover not covered in normal use).  Consequently by reading or viewing this disclaimer you undertake full responsibly for any misfortunes. Life does not come with any Guarantees. Candles wicks are flammable. Do not use intimately. Do not use for drying pets. Do not use while sleeping. List each check separately by bank number. Do not sit under coconut trees. Booths for two or more. Invention, my friend, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple. Do not use orally after using rectally. Lost ticket pays maximum rate.  Evil triumphs when good men do nothing. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Do not stamp. Shading within a garment may occur. Beware Falling rocks. Do not write below this line.  Limited to stock on hand. Drop in any mailbox. For external use only! See label for sequence. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. No animals were harmed in the testing or manufacturing of this product. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law Call toll free before digging. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. No user-serviceable parts inside. Colors may, in time, fade. Do not eat yellow snow. For off-road use only.  Warning: May cause drowsiness. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any personal medical and health questions that you may have. Read only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from fire or open flames. Do not turn upside down. Do not submerge. Do not swallow. Do not put in eyes. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. [Sec 10] Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this media or any source. If you think that you have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately. Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Not recommended for children or immature beings. This disclaimer will be governed in all respects by the laws of the known multiverse and quantum realities and any dispute arising out of or relating to this disclaimer we be settled on Judgment day and not before, Do not remove this notice under penalty of the law.  No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Not for weight control. No other warranty expressed or implied. Not responsible for typographical or printers errors.  No passes accepted for this engagement. All Questions to be answered in the time allowed, please use Form 1. May be prerecorded for your time zone. Some equipment shown is optional. Keep cool; process promptly. This license is effective until terminated. Please use this material responsibly or take this opportunity to discard. List at least two alternate dates. Not to be used as a personal flotation device. [Sec 11] This media may or may not contain coarse language, materials of a sexual or violent nature, and other content, which is inappropriate for children and may be offensive to some adults. "Star Trek® and its associated indicia and terms are trademarks of Paramount Pictures, the Estate of Gene Roddenberry, Viacom, Inc., and/or Paramount Pictures Entertainment Company, a Viacom company, and all rights thereto are reserved by them.  References related to Star Trek herein are strictly with the intent of critical discussion as protected by law under the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America and the "fair use" doctrine.  The use of the term Star Trek or anything related to Star Trek on any page of this document is not intended to infringe upon Paramount, the Estate of Gene Roddenberry, or Viacom's rights.  May be extremely harmful if swallowed. [Sec 12] Tribute is due by the specified date. May the Force be with you.  Not valid with any other offer. This disclaimer is null and void on the nations of Atlantis or Lemuria or the planet Mars, the state of grace, or within the confines of the states Montana, Idaho or Confusion.  Let the reader beware that unauthorized disclosure of these terms my cause irreparably injury to this entity and thus this entity may by entitled to seek fair relief.  By standing in proximity of 10 feet for this agreement and looking at it you have intended this agreement to be contractual. The possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1 Odds of winning: depends on your abilities against others.  Do not use while sleeping or unconscious. Use only in well-ventilated area. Void where prohibited.  You must be present to win. The reader of this media shall forfeit all rights, privileges and licenses herein and herein contained .et cetera, et cetera, fax mentis incendium gloria culpum et cetera, et cetera, memo bis punitor delicatum.  
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