Think Nobody Was Married in Mayberry? Think Again.

The Myth of the Mayberry Bachelors: Why Everyone Wasn't Actually Single

Okay, time for a confession: I’m from a small town in North Carolina, and just like Andy Griffith himself, I’m a proud UNC alum.

If you spend any time on social media, you’ve probably seen the memes floating around claiming that nobody in Mayberry was married. The Andy Griffith Show (TAGS) ran from 1960 until 1968, introducing the world to our favorite fictional North Carolina town and its host of eccentric characters. And while it’s true that none of the main characters were currently married during the show's run, the idea that Mayberry was a town devoid of holy matrimony is a total myth.

Almost anyone who has actually sat down and watched the show knows there were plenty of married folks walking the streets of good ol' Mayberry.

The "On-Paper" Population

Yes, we know Andy, Aunt Bee, and Clara Edwards were single or widowed. But what about the rest of the town?

Take Otis Campbell, the famous town drunk. The memes love to point him out, but he was married—to Rita. Now, trivia question for you: out of the show's 249 episodes, exactly how many times did we actually see Rita on screen?

The answer is three.

For the rest of the series, Rita was an "invisible" character. And honestly, this comes down to a quick television reality check: production costs. In TV, every single character on screen has to be paid, even the extras standing in the background of a crowd scene. It is simply cheaper for writers to create characters who exist "on paper only" and leave them in the script.

Leaving characters to the audience's imagination was a classic Mayberry staple. Think about Sarah, the central telephone operator who knew everyone’s business, or Juanita, the Bluebird Diner waitress Barney was always sweet on. We never saw them, but they were woven tightly into the fabric of the community.

The Continuity Shuffle (and a House Full of Bachelorettes)

We also have to remember that 1960s television wasn't exactly known for tight continuity. The writers changed details whenever it suited the weekly plot. In one episode, Barney couldn't carry a tune to save his life; in another, he's singing beautifully.

The single population fluctuated just as wildly based on what the script needed. Look no further than the episode "A Wife for Andy." Good old Barney takes it upon himself to invite every eligible single lady in town over to Andy's house, and a massive crowd shows up!

But a room full of bachelorettes doesn't mean the whole town was single.

Reading Between the Lines

The next time you watch an episode and see Andy, Opie, and Aunt Bee sitting peacefully on their front porch, think about all the families living in the houses next door that we never got to see. Think about the local couples where only one spouse walked into Floyd's Barbershop while the other was mentioned back at home.

Mayberry was a bustling, normal small town full of married couples—the camera just happened to be facing the bachelors.

Let's review MARRIED PEOPLE IN MAYBERRY

20+ Times 'The Andy Griffith Show' Proved Mayberry Wasn't Just a Town of Bachelors

If you’re still believing that social media meme claiming nobody in Mayberry was married, it’s time to go back and rewatch the show. While the main characters might have been single or widowed, the town itself was absolutely bursting with married couples, families, and hidden housewives.

Don't believe it? Let’s take a walk down memory lane and look at the evidence.

1. The Regulars (and Their "Invisible" Spouses)

A lot of Mayberry’s most familiar faces had spouses who were either rarely seen or completely left to our imagination:

• Floyd Lawson: Yes, Floyd the barber was a married man! His wife was named Melba (though she was only mentioned). We also met his son Randall in "Those Gossipin' Men" and heard plenty about his other son, Norman.

• Mayor Pike: He famously complained about his wife's terrible opera singing during the Founder's Day episode, and we saw his daughters participate in the Miss Mayberry beauty contest.

• Mayor Stoner: He was married to Mabel. You might remember her from the classic episode where Andy trades his "Eagle Eye Annie" fishing rod just to get her a bed jacket.

• Emmett Clark: The fix-it shop owner we all know and love was happily married to Martha.

• Rafe Hollister: Rafe made several appearances, and his wife, Martha, actually joined him on screen in one episode.

2. Unforgettable Episode Couples

Some of the show's best storylines revolved around the dynamics of Mayberry's married folks:

• Fred and Jennie Boone: The famously bickering couple who fought constantly with each other but were completely sweet to everyone else.

• Sam and Bess Muggins: Featured in Mayberry’s only Christmas episode, this entire family appeared again when Ben Weaver tried to evict them.

• Tom and Annabelle Silby: In "Opie's Charity," Annabelle tells everyone her husband Tom is dead—only for him to walk right back into Mayberry after finally sobering up!

• Jess Morgan: When Andy lets this moonshiner out of jail early (over Mayor Stoner’s heavy objections), his wife is the one who comes to pick him up.

• Sam Becker: The eccentric farmer whose baby Andy helps deliver. He was married to Lily, though she stayed off-camera.

• Tate Fletcher: When Luke famously tried to put shoes on a cow, they were at Tate's house—and we actually got to see his wife, Cornelia.

• Charlene Darling & Dud Wash: Who could forget the ultimate mountain wedding when Charlene finally tied the knot with Dud?

3. Reading Between the Lines: Kids, Houses, and Housewives

If you look at the background of Mayberry, the math only points to marriage:

• The Schoolkids: Mayberry wasn't a town of single fathers. Opie had a whole classroom of friends (like Arnold Bailey). Even if we only saw one parent on screen, those kids had families.

• The Beauty Contest: When everyone begged Andy to pick their daughter for Miss Mayberry (even Opie pushed for his girlfriend!), it begged the obvious question: Do these daughters not have parents? Of course they do.

• Barney’s Vacuum Sales: When Barney quit the force to sell vacuums, he spent his days knocking on doors to find houses full of stay-at-home housewives. In the 1960s TV era, those ladies weren't living alone!

• Barney's Real Estate Gig: When Barney tried his hand at being a realtor, his client list was full of couples looking for homes, including the Sims (whom we saw) and the Williamses.

• Ellie Walker's Campaign: When Ellie ran for city council, her platform literally triggered "husband vs. wife" battles all across town.

• The Feuding Families: In Mayberry's version of Romeo and Juliet (the Wakefield-Carter feud), the two young lovers get married at the end. Their mothers may have been listed as deceased in the series reference material, but the kids certainly didn't raise themselves!

4. The Deep-Cut Mayberry Trivia List

For the true TAGS superfans, here is a lightning round of some married couples mentioned throughout the series:

Couple	Episode / Context
Arthur Tarbox & Wife	Moving out of town in "Opie and the Spoiled Kid" because people gossip too much.
The Bellfasts	The couple Opie spends the night with in "The Rumor."
Bobby Gribble & Emma Larch	Married despite everyone thinking Bobby hated her back in grammar school ("The Case of the Punch in the Nose").
Charlie & Mrs. Deveraux	The couple Barney describes as "ugly as homemade soap" in "The Shoplifters."
Howard & Lorraine Felcher	The couple heading for divorce because Lorraine drinks a bit too much ("Opie's Fortune").
The Johnsons	The farming family that owns one of the nicest properties in the county ("Barney's First Car").
The Wilsons	The couple who donated their old lawnmower to the Scobey rummage sale ("Andy Forecloses").
Tyla Lee & Husband	Andy tells the story of how they met; they live in the little yellow house just up from the courthouse ("Prisoner of Love").
Harold & Sue Grigsby	Mentioned residents of the county.
Mr. & Mrs. Sam Burton	Featured in "The Shoplifters."
Craig & Millie Fulton	Featured in "Opie's Job."
Mr. & Mrs. Hendrick	Featured in "Aunt Bee's Invisible Beau."

So, the next time someone tries to tell you Mayberry was just a town of single bachelors, feel free to drop some knowledge on them. Go watch the show—you might just learn something!

The Government Took Prayer out of School....really?

The Myth of "No Prayer in School" (And What Freedom of Religion Actually Means)

Let’s clear up a massive piece of misinformation.

In Abington School District v. Schempp (1963), the United States Supreme Court ruled that official, state-mandated Bible reading in public schools was unconstitutional. This followed the landmark Engel v. Vitale (1962) decision, which prohibited officially sponsored school prayer on similar grounds.

Please note the key words there: official and state-sponsored.

Keep that in mind the next time you see or share one of those "They Took Prayer Out of Schools!" memes on social media.

You Can Pray Anywhere You Want

Let’s be entirely clear: You can absolutely pray in school. You can also pray at work, in the shower, or while cutting your grass. (If you pray while driving, just please keep your eyes open!) Praying is not illegal. In fact, it is a protected constitutional right under the First Amendment. This was forcefully reaffirmed by the Supreme Court in Kennedy v. Bremerton School District (2022), which protected a coach's right to personal prayer on the field. Students are allowed to pray individually or in groups, provided it is completely voluntary, student-initiated, and does not disrupt the educational environment

To anyone who wants to prove me wrong: If you ever get arrested just for praying in a public school, please post a photo of your ticket or your mugshot on social media. I will personally pay your fine and lead the protest. But remember—you actually have to be charged with the act of praying. (Spoiler alert: You won't be.)  Disturbing the peace doesn't count

The Danger of Government,-Enforced Faith

Per the U.S. Constitution, the government and its entities (including public schools) cannot force anyone into a specific faith, belief system, or religious practice. Well in most places before 2025.

If you want to understand why our Founders set it up this way, pick up a history book and look at the English Reformation. Look at the absolute chaos, bloodshed, and political manipulation that occurred when the Church influenced politics—and when politicians controlled religion—in early Europe. That history is exactly why the First Amendment’s Establishment Clause exists.

If you want to live in a country where the government forces one religion on all citizens, you are looking for a totalitarian regime or a theocracy. In those places, the state can force compliance, deny your rights, or punish you for practicing a faith they don’t approve of. Do you really want America to become that?

If the government could force Christianity on people, which brand would it choose? Catholic? Protestant? Anglican? Southern Baptist?  Christian Extremist? There are over 45,000 denominations of Christianity alone, and over 4,300 distinct religions worldwide. Which one of these practices do you want elected officials forcing on your children? The one used by the KKK?

If your local school board suddenly became entirely Muslim, Secular Humanist, Atheist, or even Jedi, would you want them forcing their faith on your kids?

It is truly amazing how the same crowd that frequently complains about "Big Government" will happily spread memes advocating for the ultimate form of government control: state-mandated religion.

Freedom of Religion Means Liberty, Not Imposition

In the United States, you are free to practice your faith, teach your children your beliefs, and attend the place of worship of your choice. You are also free not to do any of those things. That is what true freedom of religion means.

You have the right to expose people to your beliefs, and they have the right to accept or reject them. However, you do not have the right to impose your beliefs on me, my family, or anyone else.

We should cherish the freedom to choose what we believe. When politics and religion mix to form a state-run faith, it always leads to indoctrination and false teachings. History proves this: look no further than how slave masters twisted biblical teachings to falsely convince enslaved people that their bondage was ordained by God. When the government controls doctrine, it will always use it for control. Look at history!

A Challenge for Christians

For the professing Christians who keep passing these memes along, I have a challenge for you:

Show me the Bible verse where Yahweh (God) commands the government to raise and spiritually train your children. Go ahead, look it up. I’ll wait.

What you will find are countless passages—especially in the Torah and the Book of Proverbs—where Yahweh explicitly commands parents to teach their children. For example:

• Deuteronomy 4:9

• Deuteronomy 6:7

• Deuteronomy 11:19

• Psalm 78:5-7

If you want a school where children are taught to pray, that is what Sunday school and private religious schools are for. You are entirely free to send your kids there.

Ironically, for several decades, Sunday school attendance has been steadily declining while "Christians" have spent their energy complaining about the lack of prayer in public schools. Why aren't the children in church? Complaining on Facebook isn't going to fix empty pews.

Faith Begins at Home

Real, lasting faith is passed down through families, not government institutions.

My grandparents taught my parents to pray. My parents taught me to pray. I taught my children to pray, and they are now teaching their children to pray. That is biblical.

The great political philosopher John Locke once noted that the early Baptists were among the first and most steadfast champions of true liberty:

"Baptists became the first and only propounders of 'absolute liberty, just and true liberty, equal and impartial liberty.' For this, they suffered and died... They were the indefatigable, consistent primal apostles of liberty in this latter age."

When my grandson was two years old, I heard him singing "The B-I-B-L-E" song. The government didn’t teach him that; his mother did. When he was just a little over a year old and barely talking, he babbled the prayer for Thanksgiving dinner ("God good, God great... Amen"). The President, the courts, the governor, the mayor, and the school board had absolutely nothing to do with it.

The best way to teach your children the faith is to live it out as an example before them. As Paul wrote to Timothy:

"I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also." — 2 Timothy 1:5

Over the last 50 years, Church and Sunday school attendance has plummeted. If we want to address the moral state of our nation, let's look at our own households and churches instead of asking the government to do a job God gave to us.

But I bet no one will share this. Political motives and false narratives always seem to spread faster than the truth.

To read the official federal guidelines on constitutionally protected prayer and religious expression in public schools, visit the U.S. Department of Education Guidelines.

https://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/religionandschools/prayer_guidance.html

Star Trek Celebration Calendar of Days

You've heard of National Hotdog day or Talk like a Parrot day. Rubbish, let's celebrate real holidays that Star Trek Fans can enjoy.  This list was compiled by Star Trek Fans for Star Trek Fans. This is a Terran based calendar...apologizes to the Klingons, Vulcan, Andorians, Hortas, and other species

Jan 

1. -
2. -
3. -
4. -
5. -
6. - Be A Boss of your Territory Day!
7. -
8. -
9. -
10. -
11. -
12. -
13. -
14. -
15. -
16. -
17. -
18. -
19. -
20. -
21. -
22. -
23. -
24. -
25. 
    

Feb

1. -
2. -
3. -
4. -
5. -Kal Rekk (Vulcan)
6. -
7. -
8. -
9. - Walk in Will of Landu Day 

March

1. -
2. - Act like an Android Day
3. - Multiply your estimates by 4 Day!
4. -
5. -
6. -
7. -
8. -
9. -
10. -
11. -
12. -
13. -
14. -
15. -
16. -
17. -
18. -
19. -
20. -
21. -
22. - Talk like Captain Kirk Day
23. -
24. -
25. -
26. - Vulcan Salute Day

April

1. -
2. -
3. -
4. -
5. - First Contact Day
6. -
7. -
8. -
9. -
10. -
11. -
12. -
13. -
14. -
15. -
16. -
17. -
18. -
19. -
20. -
21. -
22. -
23. - Talk like Shakespeare Day
24. 
    

May

1. --
2. -
3. -
4. -
5. -
6. -
7. -
8. -
9. -
10. -
11. -
12. -
13. -
14. -
15. -
16. -
17. -
18. -
19. -
20. -
21. -
22. -
23. -
24. -
25. -
26. -
27. -
28. -
29. -
30. - Talk in Technobabble Day

June

1. - Blend in Day aka Odo Day (try not to be noticed)
2. -
3. -
4. -
5. 
   

July

1. -
2. -
3. - Talk in Klingon Day

August 

1. -
2. -
3. -
4. -
5. -
6. -
7. -
8. -
9. -
10. -
11. -
12. - 

September

1. -
2. -
3. -
4. -
5. -
6. -
7. -
8. - Wear your comm badge pin day! (show your love of trek)
9. -
10. -
11. -
12. -
13. --
14. -
15. -
16. -
17. - Klingon Day of Honor 
18. -
19. -
20. -
21. -
22. -
23. -
24. -
25. -
26. -
27. -
28. -
29. Order a  Raktajino Day

October

1. -
2. -
3. -
4. -
5. -
6. -
7. -
8. -
9. -
10. -
11. -United Federation of Planets Day (Have a Root Beer !)
12. -
13. -
14. -
15. -
16. -
17. -
18. -
19. -
20. -
21. -
22. -
23. -
24. -
25. -
26. -
27. -
28. - nuqDaq yuch Dapol Day 

November

1. -
2. -
3. -
4. -  
5. -
6. -
7. -
8. -
9. -

NOTE: Instead of calling it Thanksgiving call it the Bajorian Gratitude Festival

December

1. -
2. -
3. -
4. -
5. -
6. -
7. -
8. -
9. -
10. -
11. -
12. -
13. -
14. -
15. - Order a Romulan Ale Day

If you have a suggestion of things to add: leave a comment!

Take My Memories

DOCTOR: Can you hear them? 

All these people who've lived in terror of you and your judgement?

All these people whose ancestors devoted themselves, sacrificed themselves, to you. 

Can you hear them singing? 

Oh, you like to think you're a god. 

But you're not a god. 

You're just a parasite eaten out with jealousy and envy and longing for the lives of others. 

You feed on them. 

On the memory of love and loss and birth and death and joy and sorrow. 

So, come on, then. 

Take mine. 

Take my memories. 

But I hope you've got a big appetite, because I have lived a long life and I have seen a few things.


DOCTOR: I walked away from the last Great Time War. 

I marked the passing of the Time Lords. 

I saw the birth of the universe and I watched as time ran out, moment by moment, until nothing remained. 

No time. 

No space. 

Just me. 

I walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a mad man. 

I've watched universes freeze and creations burn. 

I've seen things you wouldn't believe. 

I have lost things you will never understand. 

And I know things. 

Secrets that must never be told. 

Knowledge that must never be spoken. 

Knowledge that will make parasite gods blaze.

 So come on, then. 

Take it! 

Take it all, baby! 

Have it! 

You have it all!


CLARA: 

This leaf isn't just the past, 

it's a whole future that never happened. 

There are billions and millions of unlived days for every day we live. 

An infinity. 

All the days that never came. 

And these are all my mum's.

The Doctor's War Speech

I've produced a basic transcript of the Doctor's speech at the end of last night's episode, The Zygon Inversion.

The Doctor: 

You just want cruelty to beget cruelty. 

You're not superior to people who were cruel to you. 

You're just a whole bunch of new cruel people. 

A whole bunch of new cruel people, being cruel to some other people, who'll end up being cruel to you. 

The only way anyone can live in peace is if they're prepared to forgive. 

Why don't you break the cycle?

Bonnie: Why should we?
The Doctor: What is it that you actually want?
Bonnie: War.
The Doctor: 

Ah. And when this war is over, when -- when you have the homeland free from humans, what do you think it's going to be like? 

Do you know? 

Have you thought about it? 

Have you given it any consideration? 

Because you're very close to getting what you want. 

What's it going to be like? 

Paint me a picture. 

Are you going to live in houses? 

Do you want people to go to work? 

What'll be holidays? 

Oh! 

Will there be music? 

Do you think people will be allowed to play violins? 

Who will make the violins? 

Well? Oh, 

You don't actually know, do you? 

Because, just like every other tantruming child in history, 

Bonnie, you don't actually know what you want. 

So, let me ask you a question about this brave new world of yours. 

When you've killed all the bad guys, and it's all perfect and just and fair, when you have finally got it exactly the way you want it, what are you going to do with the people like you? 

The troublemakers. 

How are you going to protect your glorious revolution from the next one?
Bonnie: We'll win.
Doctor: Oh, will you? 

Well maybe -- maybe you will win. 

But nobody wins for long. 

The wheel just keepts turning. 

So, come on. Break the cycle.

Bonnie: Then why are you still talking?
The Doctor: Because I'm trying to get you to see. And I'm almost there.
Bonnie: Do you know what I see, Doctor? A box. A box with everything I need. A 50% chance.
Kate: For us, too.
[The Doctor sighs.]
The Doctor: And we're off! Fingers on buzzers! Are you feeling lucky? Are you ready to play the game? Who's going to be quickest? Who's going to be the luckiest?
Kate: This is not a game!
The Doctor: No, it's not a game, sweetheart, and I mean that most sincerely.
Bonnie: Why are you doing this?
Kate: Yes, I'd like to know that too. You set this up -- why?
The Doctor: Because it's not a game, Kate. This is a scale model of war. Every war ever fought right there in front of you. Because it's always the same. When you fire that first shot, no matter how right you feel, you have no idea who's going to die. You don't know who's children are going to scream and burn. How many hearts will be broken! How many lives shattered! How much blood will spill until everybody does what they're always going to have to do from the very beginning -- sit down and talk! Listen to me, listen. I just -- I just want you to think. Do you know what thinking is? It's just a fancy word for changing your mind.
Bonnie: I will not change my mind.
The Doctor: Then you will die stupid. Alternatively, you could step away from that box. You could walk right out of that door, and you could stand your revolution down.
Bonnie: No, I'm not stopping this, Doctor. I started it. I will not stop it. You think they'll let me go after what I've done?
The Doctor: You're all the same, you screaming kids, you know that? "Look at me, I'm unforgivable." Well here's the unforeseeable, I forgive you. After all you've done. I forgive you.
Bonnie: You don't understand. You will never understand.
The Doctor: I don't understand? Are you kidding? Me? Of course I understand. I mean, do you call this a war, this funny little thing? This is not a war. I fought in a bigger war than you will ever know. I did worse things than you could ever imagine, and when I close my eyes... I hear more screams than anyone could ever be able to count! And do you know what you do with all that pain? Shall I tell you where you put it? You hold it tight... Til it burns your hand. And you say this -- no one else will ever have to live like this. No one else will ever have to feel this pain. Not on my watch.
[Kate closes her box.]
The Doctor: Thank you. Thank you.
Kate: I'm sorry.
The Doctor: I know. I know, thank you.
[The Doctor looks back to Bonnie.]
Well?
Bonnie: It's empty, isn't it? Both boxes -- there's nothing in them. Just buttons.
The Doctor: Of course. But you know how you know that? Because you've started to think like me. It's hell, isn't it? No one should have to think like that. And no one will. Not on our watch.
[The Doctor and Bonnie stare at one another for a moment.]
The Doctor: Gotcha.
Bonnie: How can you be so sure?
The Doctor: Because you have a disadvantage, Zygella. I know that face.
Kate: Well, this is all very well, but as know the boxes are empty now. We can't forget that.
The Doctor: No, well, uh... You've said that the last 15 times.
[The Doctor uses his sunglasses, which begin pulsing.]
Bonnie: You didn't wipe my memory.
The Doctor: No. Just Kate's. Oh, and your little friends here, of course. When they wake up, they won't remember what you've done. It'll be our secret.
Bonnie: You're going to protect me?
Osgood: Well, you're one of us now, whether you like it or not.
Bonnie: I don't understand how You could just forgive me.
The Doctor: Because I've been where you have. There was another box. I was gonna press another button. I was going to wipe out all of my own kind. Man, woman, and child. I was so sure I was right.
Bonnie: What happened?
The Doctor: Same thing that happened to you. I let Clara Oswald get inside my head.
[The Doctor looks at Clara.]
The Doctor: Trust me... She doesn't leave.

From Doctor who: The Zygon Inversion

Don't know what to right (or left)
Don't know what to say
Just writing something in my blog anyway.

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There shall be no discrimination, interference, restriction or coercion exercised or practiced regarding any term or condition  by reason of sex, age (except for where noted), race, creed, color, ancestry, national/planetary origin, place/planet of birth, political or religious affiliation or belief, clerical or lay status, membership (except for  non active members) sexual orientation, physical attributes, spousal status, family relationship, physical or mental ill-health, illness or disability, bad breath or body odor. [Sec 5] Batteries not included. Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants. Sanitized for your protection. This is not an offer to sell securities. Times approximate. All models over 18 years of age. For official use only. Opinions expressed are my own and not those of the Entity. Use like regular soap. Beware of dog. [Sec 6] By opening this package, you are agreeing to be bound by the terms of the agreement. Do not use in shower. In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly. Your canceled check is your receipt. Sign here without admitting guilt. First pull up, and then pull down. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Warning: May contain small parts. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. If condition persists, consult Yours truly, physician. Avoid contact with skin. At participating locations only. Do not put in mouth. Time is a precious thing; never waste it. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. One size fits most. Price does not include taxes Do Not Insert Curling Iron into Any Bodily Orifice. Not legal for trade. Warning: nicotine has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice. Simulated images. Contents may settle during shipment. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. Many suitcases look alike. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. This product not intended for use as a dental drill. As seen on TV. Subject to approval. Employees and their families are not eligible. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. [Sec 7] Not the Beatles. Check here if tax deductible. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. Caution: This is not a safety protective device.  Safe and effective when used as directed. Not all products are available at all times. Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand. Your mileage may vary No Canadian coins. Replace with same type. Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Not dishwasher safe.  May be too intense for some viewers. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Monitor sold separately. List was current at time of printing. Approved for veterans. Some assembly required. Use other side for additional listings. This statement has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration, or the AFT or the Stone Cutters . This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent and disease. Apply only to affected area. Beware!  Close cover before striking. Package sold by weight, not volume. To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. In order to get out of car, open door, get out, get keys, lock doors, and then close doors. Postage will be paid by the addressee. Add toner. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one-per-family please. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Driver does not carry cash. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Details inside. Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use. Place stamp here.  Post office will not deliver without postage. Restaurant package, not for resale. Product will be hot after heating. Does not use while operating motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Keep away from fire or flames. Edited for television. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery.  [Sec 8] No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No purchase necessary. Not sold in stores. No shirt, no shoes - no service. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Nothing contained anywhere herein is offered as or constitutes legal advice. Keep cool; process promptly. Do not disturb. This is only a test. Do not snuff or ingest wax. CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!  Slippery when wet. Do not drive cars in ocean. Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health. We have sent the forms, which seem to be appropriate for you.  Non-transferable.  [Sec 9] For serious injuries, seek medical attention. Do not iron clothes on body. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Must be 18 to receive this material. Disclaimer implies that author, owner. this entity, nor creator is not responsible for misuse, damage caused by accidents, lightning, froth and frippery of any sort, kind or condition, fire, frost, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, plagues, hurricanes and other Acts of God or Satan or natural, or unnatural disaster, neglect, damage from improper reading, understanding, usage of this material, or sheer stupidity of the user. Nor are we responsible for incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized access to this material, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, magic, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents due to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectiles (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, phasers, and other directed energy weapons, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, spears, stones, etc, attacks from vermicious knids, jabberwocks, schnozzwangers, whangdoodles, dragons, gnoolies or any creatures real or imaginary, or eating forbidden fruits, prunes, or Schnozzberries, or any other consumable, and anything you can think of they we did implicitly cover not covered in normal use).  Consequently by reading or viewing this disclaimer you undertake full responsibly for any misfortunes. Life does not come with any Guarantees. Candles wicks are flammable. Do not use intimately. Do not use for drying pets. Do not use while sleeping. List each check separately by bank number. Do not sit under coconut trees. Booths for two or more. Invention, my friend, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple. Do not use orally after using rectally. Lost ticket pays maximum rate.  Evil triumphs when good men do nothing. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Do not stamp. Shading within a garment may occur. Beware Falling rocks. Do not write below this line.  Limited to stock on hand. Drop in any mailbox. For external use only! See label for sequence. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. No animals were harmed in the testing or manufacturing of this product. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law Call toll free before digging. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. No user-serviceable parts inside. Colors may, in time, fade. Do not eat yellow snow. For off-road use only.  Warning: May cause drowsiness. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any personal medical and health questions that you may have. Read only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from fire or open flames. Do not turn upside down. Do not submerge. Do not swallow. Do not put in eyes. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. [Sec 10] Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this media or any source. If you think that you have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately. Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Not recommended for children or immature beings. This disclaimer will be governed in all respects by the laws of the known multiverse and quantum realities and any dispute arising out of or relating to this disclaimer we be settled on Judgment day and not before, Do not remove this notice under penalty of the law.  No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Not for weight control. No other warranty expressed or implied. Not responsible for typographical or printers errors.  No passes accepted for this engagement. All Questions to be answered in the time allowed, please use Form 1. May be prerecorded for your time zone. Some equipment shown is optional. Keep cool; process promptly. This license is effective until terminated. Please use this material responsibly or take this opportunity to discard. List at least two alternate dates. Not to be used as a personal flotation device. [Sec 11] This media may or may not contain coarse language, materials of a sexual or violent nature, and other content, which is inappropriate for children and may be offensive to some adults. "Star Trek® and its associated indicia and terms are trademarks of Paramount Pictures, the Estate of Gene Roddenberry, Viacom, Inc., and/or Paramount Pictures Entertainment Company, a Viacom company, and all rights thereto are reserved by them.  References related to Star Trek herein are strictly with the intent of critical discussion as protected by law under the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America and the "fair use" doctrine.  The use of the term Star Trek or anything related to Star Trek on any page of this document is not intended to infringe upon Paramount, the Estate of Gene Roddenberry, or Viacom's rights.  May be extremely harmful if swallowed. [Sec 12] Tribute is due by the specified date. May the Force be with you.  Not valid with any other offer. This disclaimer is null and void on the nations of Atlantis or Lemuria or the planet Mars, the state of grace, or within the confines of the states Montana, Idaho or Confusion.  Let the reader beware that unauthorized disclosure of these terms my cause irreparably injury to this entity and thus this entity may by entitled to seek fair relief.  By standing in proximity of 10 feet for this agreement and looking at it you have intended this agreement to be contractual. The possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1 Odds of winning: depends on your abilities against others.  Do not use while sleeping or unconscious. Use only in well-ventilated area. Void where prohibited.  You must be present to win. The reader of this media shall forfeit all rights, privileges and licenses herein and herein contained .et cetera, et cetera, fax mentis incendium gloria culpum et cetera, et cetera, memo bis punitor delicatum.  

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